Pride.  What else is it but an excuse to get almost naked and dance!  It’s a great time.

These are not the 'briefs' this Illinios lawyer would have filed...
These are not the ‘briefs’ this Illinios lawyer would have filed…

As one of the lesbian chicks I was hanging out with said, “I see enough sausage at Pride to tide me over for the whole year.”

Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" was playing in icecream truck midi tones.
Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” was playing in icecream truck midi tones.

It’s such a fun time.  Everyone’s happy and out to be non-discriminatory and have love for their fellow man.

There were other window displays with a pile of Kens on top of each other.
There were other window displays with a pile of Kens on top of each other.

I was hanging out with people I knew, but their idea of a good time was to dance on top of a police car, then let the air out of one of the tires because an officer told them to get down.  I was not having any of that, so I decided to move on.

I ended up hanging out with these really cool gay chicks.  One of the couples was married and the other couple basically was- they were very calm and chill- the opposite of people who would fight police.  We ended up going to see a band play in a parking lot, which was not too bad, but the venue was trying to force us to drink Miller Lite.  I was going to just hang out for a while, but then this dude who fancied himself a DJ started a set between the bands (each song lasted about thirty seconds and the transitions weren’t always smooth, so there was no getting into a groove, and the songs sucked) and the ‘comedians’ (who thought the funniest thing was talking about how her breast might come out of her top in a grating voice).  According to one of the married chicks, in Canada, that sort of talk actually counts as humor and is appreciated.  That made me really proud (and relieved) to be from the good old U. S. of A.

I had to get out of there, so I said goodbye to the married gay chicks and went to get something to eat at T’s.  Michael Jackson songs were playing for the entire hour that I was there, and I was lucky enough to witness a dance off between a gay boy and someone of indeterminate gender.  Of course the gay boy won.  He did a standing backward flip in the air- but even without that feat of athleticism, who could beat a gay boy in a dance off?


Then I went back to the parking lot (I had paid cover and wanted to see if there was anything fun going on) and I caught the last song of a band called Dot Dot Dot.  They were playing to a lesbian crowd.  Because Pride is about taking off your clothes for no reason, the skinny boy lead vocalist took off his shirt (which no one really responded to (because, dude: lesbians)) and then encouraged the (female) guitarist and (female) bassist to take off something as well.  The crowd yelled and applauded to convey their approval.  Then he prompted the (male) drummer to take off his shirt or pants or something.  The crowd was silent and whateverishly meh.  Then he yelled: “TAKE OFF YOUR MOUSTACHE!”  And the crowd got back into the spirit of things.  They played “Shout” and mixed that song with the Beastie Boy’s “Girls.” It was a good time.

So it was a day/night of extremes at Pride this Sunday.  Can’t wait till next year.

Look at the little flag...
Look at the little flag…

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