How to be polite with children

Sprout, a brunch place in the Uke, issued a ban on children for brunch. There was a backlash- but holy GOD it’s awesome to be in a neighborhood restaurant without the whiny voices of children. They make me so anxious I can’t taste my food. I don’t go out much, but when I do, I go to relax, not deal with other people’s kids.

I believe in being polite: not having long stupid conversations on a cell phone on the bus, giving up your seat on the train for a pregnant lady, showering regularly, and not bringing your whiny kid to brunch. How strange that on the bus every single good manners/public service announcement is like a blast out of the past- like a weird time warp.

“Please keep your personal belongings off the seat next to you so that others may sit down.” (Yes, obviously.)

“Please exit through the rear doors so that everyone’s commute is faster.” (Duh.)

“Please use courtesy when talking on your phone, so as not to disturb other customers.” (OH my god shut up: this conversation is not important and can obviously wait.)

You know what? There’s no way to be polite when you have kids. Because parents stop caring about everything else when they have a kid- their world becomes the family. Anything outside of the family doesn’t exist. That’s why they bring their bratty kids out in public to make me suffer. There’s no way to be polite with children. Never mind.

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