Passion or Whatever

I like drawing. Sometimes. I can have a good day of drawing, or I can have a bad day at it. Am I passionate about it? No. I enjoy it.

I won’t pretend to want to do something more than I do. I have meant to go and draw more frequently. But I haven’t actually done it. Why not? Because. I’m afraid of failing or drawing poorly, I feel like I have a really long road ahead of me before I get to be good at all, I don’t want to slog through all the practice and horrible drawings before I get better. Why put myself through this? Because a good drawing is something that can elevate the senses, and it will be a worthy accomplishment. I love to write, but have been neglecting my blogs for a while. Why is that?

I’ve been indulging a mild funk. I’ve been drinking, not a lot, but a few drinks per day. Being sensitive to drugs, those drinks do affect me. I’ve been too lazy to go grocery shopping, so I’ve been eating meals based around bread and cheese and nitrates. I’ve been watching bad television to zone out and ignore my artistic needs. This is a stress reaction.

The only way to get out of it is to go through the motions of doing what I like to do until it starts to feel natural again. I’m passionate about writing. I love finding a perfect phrase or sentence that resonates, hits the sweet spot of the soul. EW. That’s not an example.

But I am passionate about beauty, art, and truth. Embracing those things will bring it back.

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