My job(s) are absolutely perfect for me. I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
I know it’s perfect for me because it looks like all the things I said I wanted when I was unemployed and unhappy: I make my own schedule, I’m behind a desk only part of the time, I get to write, I am involved in social media, I have a hand in strategy, I rewrite or update company policies, and I don’t have to focus on cleaning up other people’s mistakes and can instead focus on the future. I have a short commute that I can bike, I work alone most of the time with brief one on one interactions. I can try new things and fail without much financial risk to myself. I can floss my teeth at my desk while listening to thrash metal and working on a blog post. That’s what I’ve always dreamed of in a job.
I remember the day I realized I’d been promoted and was almost overwhelmed by how much work the company needed. Paralysis threatened. So I focused on the top three things that the company needed: cash flow, new listings and new people.
Today I was sitting at my desk, feeling like a failure because we’re not rolling in cash with an office full of agents. But I have been getting new listings, generating some cashflow, building relationships with landlords and clients, and interviewing prospective employees. When I close a sale, or share my expertise with a prospective client, or write some good copy, I’m happy.
Then I read this post, and I thought “Yeah, what next?”
I most especially love my job because there’s so much I want to learn, and I’m getting paid to learn it. I’m challenging myself and choosing how to proceed. This could not be a better situation. I’m almost overwhelmed. Focus.