Good morning, you weird, sweaty thing

I like to run west, rather than north. No one else is running if I run west. Quite the opposite, in fact. People amble, shuffle, or waddle. They’re in no hurry to get where they’re going. Some people see me coming and look vaguely confused, like “Why is she doing that?” Who runs for fun?

More people talk to me (at me?) when I’m running because I look like a sweaty, red faced weirdo, and it’s okay to talk to someone like that because I’ll quickly be moving on. I don’t know why they say anything, because I’m wearing headphones.  But I’ve decided I like these interactions.

” ‘Morning” [“Howdy neighbor, I respect the fact that you’re a hard worker.”]
“Good morning.” [“I’d really like to have sex with you, thanks for wearing shorts.”]
“‘Morning..!” [“Please don’t run over my children, weirdo, also why are you on my sidewalk?”]

And my favorite:
“Yeah girl. Get it.”


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